Episode Five : Some Fancy Footwork, From the Fabulous Outdoors to the Concrete Forests

Destination: Acadia National Park, Maine

After 44 days away from the security of sunny San Luis, Dan and Greg finally reach the east coast and the Atlantic ocean, which greets them with its saucy salty sea air. Immediately the two jump at the opportunity to get a bird's eye view of the park by climbing up the 1300 foot Mount Champaign. Halfway up the Precipice trial, the hikers pass a midget dressed up as a clown who is training for the ranger tryouts. The rangers in these parts must be extremely familiar with the trails, so much so that they can climb the entire mountain blindfolded or severely intoxicated. Even with his blindfold on, the little clown is able to take this great picture from large boulder he was standing on while trying to echo-locate his way up the trail.

Nearing the summit, Greg tests his balance on a ledge with a 1000 foot fall only inches away. The hikers were warned of the statistic that nearly 95% of all climbers mysteriously loose their balance when the summit is reached. Greg’s balance holds steady, so the two push for the peak only a few hundred yards away.

After two hours of heavy hiking, checking and rechecking the workings of the inner ear, and a few more photos with Little Big Head (the growth-challenged clown’s circus name), the two hikers reach the peak. The view is spectacular, however hunger pains sweep over the two hindering their ability to fully enjoy the moment. They have only eaten a donut each for breakfast, and furthermore have given their only Powerbars to Sanchez (Little Big Head’s real name) after hearing his heart-touching story of recently passing softball sized kidney stones. Dan can no longer take the hunger and begins madly scrounging in some bushes after some small round blue-colored berries.

Luckily it turns out the blue-colored berries are in fact delicious wild blueberries and not their deadly blue cousins, rabi-erries, which contradictory to their name do not cause rabies but instead elephantitis of the left index finger. With their bellies full and content, it is time to descend back down the mountain and relax at Seawall campgrounds on the south side of the park. The next morning Dan and Greg enjoy sausage and egg open-faced sandwiches right on the water. Here Dan is seen enjoying the view while also enjoying breakfast.

With another stop on the itinerary checked off, the two road trip specialists drive south to Boston, the city built with no forethought of future expansion.

Destination: Boston, Massachusetts

Reaching Boston late in the day, the two have just enough time to find a cheap hotel on the west side of town before heading out to meet up with Jeremy once again (this time on the opposite coast for those of you with poor geographical minds). Jeremy is attending a computer nerd meeting that has something to do with file sharing and such over the internet (or something like that). Dan and Greg intend on walking only a few blocks to the nearest bus stop and then riding over to Cambridge where the programmer convention is being held, but they find that Boston’s public transportation system is even worse than their road layout. After a six to seven mile walk, the two finally arrive at the Cambridge Brewing Company, where the largest assortment of non-alcoholic beers are brewed and available for consumption. The table consists of 20 of the brightest, nerdiest, computer programming geniuses in the US today. Couple this with two extra geeky rocket scientists and the table repells women like 100% Deet repels mosquitoes. (Thank god no one brought their Dungeons & Dragons books) Much of the conversation at the table is focused on how many people you need to forward a chain letter e-mail in order to avoid receiving bad luck and/or diarrhea.

The next day it’s off to downtown Boston to tour the sites. For breakfast the two stop by Quincy Marketplace where a plethora of choices for eateries is available. Here Greg stands in the Central Building amongst all the fellow tourists.

As the two leave the Quincy Marketplace, Dan notices a sign proclaiming “Free Pilates lesson to anyone who can navigate Paul Revere’s Freedom Trail in its entirety with this remote control hovercraft!”. Dan being up for any challenge resulting in a pilates lesson accepts, and it’s off to the races.

Sadly, Dan can’t even figure out how to navigate the craft over the starting line as he struggles to prevent the craft from toppling over small children excitedly watching from the sidelines. He is forced then to pay the loser fee of two bits for his introductory lesson of Pilates.

With Dan’s lesson over, the two decide to just walk the freedom trail. Here Greg stands next to a statue of Paul Revere. This memorial immortalizes his midnight ride to warn the public that a high pressure system to the north and two variant low pressure systems to the southeast will collide bringing a 40-50% chance of sporadic light showers.

Walking further down the freedom trail, Dan and Greg come across the great Paul Revere’s house, the oldest building in Boston. Dan is overcome with past-life nostalgia and begins to gallop along the red outlined trail on his imaginary horse.

A small detour is taken off the freedom trail to visit the world famous Cheers pub. Here Dan gleefully strolls down the stairs to the entrance.

The day is hot and an appropriately refreshing Samuel Adams is enjoyed at the place where everyone knows your name. (Note: There is no sign that anyone at the bar actually knows their names.) However, an appearance by Norm makes up for no one being able to name names and he takes a picture of the two outside the front door.

As the evening strolls in, the two meet up with Jeremy, Jeremy’s co-nerd Sean, and his old roommate Ben. It is a emotional gathering and the four friends cry for 30 minutes in each other’s arms while Dan checks his e-mail. After dinner a photo is taken to cherish this once in a lifetime reunion and Dan, Greg, and Ben head south to Rhode Island where Ben lives.

Reaching Ben’s apartment in a suburb just outside Providence occurs just past midnight. It’s late but the three just aren’t ready to go to bed. The two musicians, Ben and Greg, start jammin’ on their guitars. Ben occasionally jumps onto his drum set to keep the rhythm going. Dan joins the session on the morocco and sometimes the cowbell. His face blushes as he is complimented on his ability to shake the morocco in time. The jam session lasts late into the night when Dan and Greg finally fall asleep on Ben’s kitchen floor. The next morning Greg heads downstairs to the barbershop right below Ben’s apartment. Dan follows suit and the two leave Rhode Island lookin’ like a million bucks.

With the breeze flowing through their freshly cut hair, Dan and Greg head south towards the biggest concrete jungle yet…

... stay tuned for Episode 6, a continuation of the breathtaking enjoyment of the east coast...